The Earl Grey is ready and the monocle is freshly polished. It would be most auspicious if the football season were to start soon. Or perhaps even sooner.
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More Baseball Predictions: National League
July 23, 2008A continuation…
National League
East Division: Philadelphia Phillies
The Mets are red-hot since the 3 AM firing of Willie Randolph and, as of two days ago, didn’t show any signs of cooling down. The injury to Billy Wagner is worrisome, and Philadelphia’s offense has been much more impressive than New York’s, with a +77 run differential to just +33 for NY.
Central Division: Milwaukee Brewers
The addition of CC Sabathia gives the Brew Crew two bona fide aces in Sabathia and Ben Sheets. Braun, Fielder, and Hardy provide pop at the plate, while the defense as a whole is a solid unit. More on the Central Division in the Wild Card section.
West Division: Los Angeles Dodgers
Let’s face it; this division blows more than the Big Bad Wolf. None of the teams are good, and none deserve the playoffs. Right now its a close race between LA and Arizona but I’m going to pick the Joe Torre-led team to stick it out in September.
Wild Card: Chicago Cubs
I would love to pick the Cardinals here, I really would. Tony LaRussa is doing a fantastic job with mediocre talent and Albert Pujols. But the Cubs are just too good. Chicago is a complete team with a solid rotation and strong lineup. Kosuke Fukudome has been a pleasant surprise. While Milwaukee’s rotation will carry them to the division lead, Chicago has great potential to be the most feared team in the NL playoffs.
NL MVP
1. Ryan Braun
1a. Chase Utley
2. Adrian Gonzalez
NL Cy Young
1. Ben Sheets
2. Tim Lincecum
3. Edinson Volquez
**Statistically, Sheets is the worst of these three, but his team will be in the playoffs.**
Playoff Predictions
Division Series
Tampa Bay over Chicago
Los Angeles over Boston
Milwaukee over Los Angeles
Chicago over Philadelphia
Championship Series
Los Angeles over Tampa bay
Milwaukee over Chicago
World Series
Los Angeles over Milwaukee
Let’s pray for no RallyMonkey.
Did You Know?? Non-Football Sport Exists!
July 22, 2008In today’s football world, people have forgotten about baseball. This saddens me. I love me some good football, even the un-American kind, but baseball is supposed to be everyone’s summer sport after the Stanley Cup has been decided and either the Spurs, Lakers, or Celtics survive the epic journey to the basketball championship of the world North America US & Toronto (but not really Toronto). America’s past time needs some ol’ fashioned loving, like apple pie and Chevrolet. The health nuts and OPEC are doing a pretty decent number on those, though, so the fate of Americanism lies in baseball, the only popular sport where the defense controls the ball. Don’t say cricket because (a) yes, I know that, and (b) I know none of you watch it. Elsewise, ‘twould be popular.
With that said, lets discuss the looming summer and its effects on the current baseball standings, shall we? My colleague, unfortunately, may not be of much help in this department. He vaguely remembers the Baltimore franchise being renamed the “Highlanders” and moving to New Amsterdam, and sometimes passes into diatribes regarding whether or not a baseball can truly curve. Someday I shall explain the concept of the Wild Card, and how it has succeeded despite a ‘nay’ vote from a Mr George W Bush.
The so-called second “half” of the baseball season has begun, with just over 60 games remaining for each team. My playoff predictions are as follows;
American League
East Division – Tampa Bay Devil Rays
I’m concerned that some of the young players may lose steam towards the end of the season, but, from now until the end of August the Rays play just 3 games against both the Angels and the White Sox, and none against either the Red Sox or the Yankees. September is a different story, with 6 games against each division rival, but the ease of the August schedule will allow the Rays to win while staying rested and healthy.
Central Division – Chicago White Stockingsx
Chicago’s superior pitching staff and hard-hitting outfielders will carry them over the Twins in what is right now a toss-up for the division lead. My over/under on Ozzie Guillen F-bombs before the end of the season is set at 43.
West Division – Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (No really, that’s their name. The Dodgers don’t like it, but they should have never left Brooklyn)
Texas is already 8.5 games back, and Oakland has traded away its most battle-tested pitcher. Right now the Angels are the best team in baseball, but they still have the Mariners to feast on, while Boston and New York can no longer go 15-3 against the Devil Rays. As long as Francisco Rodriguez keeps getting Thiggy with it, and even if he doesn’t, the Halos will coast to an easy division title.
Wild Card – Boston Red Sox
Because I hate the Yankees, who can’t start Joba or Moose every night and have no middle relief to get from their starters to Mo Rivera. That and the Red Sox are pretty good too. Gotta get Varitek (.298 OPB) out of there though. Can Youkilis catch? If Ortiz ever gets back and returns to form they may steal the division in September, but Boston is doing a good enough job without him that he probably wont add many wins and will only force Crisp/Drew/Ellsbury out of the lineup.
AL MVP
1. Josh Hamilton
2. Carlos Quentin
3. Ian Kinsler
AL Cy Young
1. Cliff Lee
2. Roy Halladay (best pitcher in baseball IMHO)
3. Justin Duschscherer
I’m not sure if I can edit posts or not, but I’m tired and will add the National League later. That’s what they get for losing a decade of All Star Games.
Also,
Cabrera has 31 RBIs in his past 35 games to up his season total to 67, putting him among the American League leaders.
Does that really matter when Josh Hamilton has ninety-seven? No one is even within 20 of him.
That is all.
Onto the Frozen AstroTurf, One Monocled Dude Ventures Into The Future
July 20, 2008It’s that time of year again!
You know what I’m talking about. That time of year when you pull on your Eddie George jersey, hitch up your knee socks, slide on your 2001 NY Giants NFC Champions hat, and venture outside to smell the smell: the smell of training camp.
Of course, it’s way too damn hot for a sports nerd like you to leave the friendly confines of central air, so you sit down at your computer and begin prosnosticating instead.
Now this is where I come in. I, personally, own no team apparel in my attempt to keep the revenue-tied salary cap as low as possible, so I don’t follow your ritual. Rather, I skip right to sipping fine wines and slowly scrolling, pinkie out, through team schedules, guessi—er, predicting—the result of each game while wearing my heavily starched nightcap.
This usually results in my humiliation come February—usually sooner depending on when a team’s 1,200 yard running back goes down for the year. If anybody paid attention to hockey, people would be laughing at my prediction of St. Louis winning the central last year, too.
With further ado, I would like to mention that football is not on my good side (in other words, they are on my monocled side). In all of sport, no league can attest to the level of mediocrity that the NFL has. I love hot 8-8 v. 6-10 action! Who will be on the bubble this year? Tennessee? Carolina? Washington? Can Oakland climb from the depths of 4-12 to join the prestigious 7-9 club? Oh the thrills! Only more commercials could dull this staccatoed 17 minutes of 4 yard at a time ecstasy!
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Here are my game-by-game predictions arranged into what I will call projected “standings.”
New England Patriots 14-2 Buffalo Bills 10-6 New York Jets 5-11 Miami Dolphins 3-13 Indianapolis Colts 12-4 Jacksonville Jaguars 11-5 Tennessee Titans 8-8 Houston Texans 5-11 Pittsburgh Steelers 8-8** Cleveland Browns 8-8 Cincinnati Bengals 6-10 Baltimore Ravens 5-11 San Diego Chargers 13-3 Denver Broncos 10-6* Oakland Raiders 6-10 Kansas City Chiefs 4-12 Dallas Cowboys 13-3 New York Giants 11-5 Philadelphia Eagles 8-8 Washington Redskins 8-8 Minnesota Vikings 10-6 Green Bay Packers 9-7 Chicago Bears 8-8 Detroit Lions 7-9 New Orleans Saints 10-6 Carolina Panthers 7-9 Tampa Bay Buccaneers 6-10 Atlanta Falcons 4-12 St. Louis Rams 8-8*** Seattle Seahawks 8-8 San Francisco 49ers 6-10 Arizona Cardinals 5-11 *defeated Buffalo 1-0 in season series **defeated Cleveland 2-0 in season series ***defeated Seattle in 5th tiebeaker (strength of victory)By the way, that thing was a fromatting nightmare, so don’t bitch that your team is 6-10 instead of 7-9. Suck it up or trade for Brett Favre.
-The Egalitarian
